The Grade School Dating Scene
I must have been 5 years old when I first got my heart broken.
That seems odd. But, I ran into someone from my first grade class this weekend. We were talking about how our private christian elementary school was like a modern day club on Friday night. Guys and gals were hooking up left and right.
I’m not sure exactly what we even did. We probably just said we were boyfriend and girlfriend and ignored each other playfully. But damnit if it didn’t hold a lot of weight for me back then.
The bitch that broke my heart was Rebecca. We were “going out” for a while. Where’d we go you ask….To the playground. Jungle gym. Played red rover with the cool kids. We were regular socialites her and I.
I remember my best friend got the hottest girl. Again, not sure what “hot” was back then, but somehow we all knew who the choicest girls were. I was always jealous of him for her. I remember her name as Tiffany. To this day, he assures me that was not her name.
She probably wasn’t even hot.
Back to Rebecca. She was a good girl. She was cute. Looking back, she had the type of family that probably read to her, tucked her in, and helped her with her homework. My parents just made sure we were indoors by dark and let us figure out the rest.
So, for some reason on the last day of kindergarten, this tramp tells me, “I never liked you, I was just joking with you the whole time.” I was crushed. I remember us going out for nearly the whole year. I was a one-girl man even back then.
She was joking for the whole year? That’s a hell of a lot of discipline for a 5 year old. I can’t even brush my teeth every night for an entire week as an adult.
And why would you even do that? Toy with someone’s emotions like that?
We were going OUT Rebecca. And, at Foothill Christian School in 1985, that fucking meant something.
I might have been 5 years old when I got my heart broken. But, now I’m 30. And, I’m still not over it.
