May 2011
1 post
Don't Forget the Bacon
The internet is all abuzz about Osama. Usama. However you spell it. I don’t care enough to figure it out. Lots of venom spewing from rightfully-angry Americans. Lots of partially-fake Martin Luther King Jr. quotes floating around preaching words of spiritual wisdom.
“I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.”
Lots...
February 2011
2 posts
2 tags
The Sweet Spot
I’m an album guy.
I don’t buy singles from iTunes. I buy albums. And, I actually listen to them.
Where are my album peeps at?
When you listen to as much music as I do, you realize you’re searching for something.
Today, I realized what it is I’m searching for: The Sweet Spot.
The Sweet Spot happens when you buy a new album. On the first 5-10 listens, everything seems...
1 tag
Strangers in China
A few years back, I’m in Shanghai on business. Luckily, one of my friends from Malaysia met me there because no one in China speaks English. He was Chinese and wanted to show me around. We’re bored, so we’re drinking and smoking cigars. Trying to act tougher than we really are. And I’m traveling on an expense account so I come up with a brilliant idea.
Let’s invite...
The Grade School Dating Scene
I must have been 5 years old when I first got my heart broken.
That seems odd. But, I ran into someone from my first grade class this weekend. We were talking about how our private christian elementary school was like a modern day club on Friday night. Guys and gals were hooking up left and right.
I’m not sure exactly what we even did. We probably just said we were boyfriend and...
January 2011
10 posts
1 tag
The Only One
She says she wants leather shoes because they travel and won’t break
She asks for vintage jackets with pearl buttons and heartache
She refuses generosity because she doesn’t want the debt
She doesn’t want real diamonds, they remind her of regret
He hates the heat, but watches her burn
He can’t stand lies, but can’t sit and yearn
It’s all make up sex, no ones...
Facebook Groups You Will Probably Never See
Hardcore Christians for Obama
Tea Party Members Who Actually Like Tea
Anti-Gay Political Activists Who Are, In Fact, Not Secretly Gay Themselves
I Love Being In This Coma
I Love Being In This Coffin
Android Users Who Don’t Secretly Covet iPhones
People Who Still Hate The New Facebook Design After 3 Weeks
People Who Solved Their Problems Via Suicide
People Who, When Going To The...
Houston, We Have a Problem
Looking back, I justified my desire for sushi while in Houston with this thought: “Well, Houston is close to the water.”
The actual sushi tasted fantastic. I remember loving it. It was the after-effects that didn’t work out so well. Kind of like sex without a condom. Or sex with a condom, but with the wrong person.
We felt fine, my companion and I, until about 1 in the morning....
The Modern Bathroom
It starts with the iPhone.
I’ll typically catch up on Facebook. Check Twitter. Look through Instagram photos. Sometimes i’ll even take Instagram photos.
Yes, I’ve done all these things while on the shitter.
If you’re reading this, there’s a reasonably good chance I’ve posted something on your wall while dropping a deuce.
Luckily Facebook Places...
In The Closet
The first time I kissed a girl was in a closet in 7th grade. I’m not speaking figuratively about the closet. We were literally in between coats and stepping on the vacuum cleaner. The vacuum cleaner is also not a metaphor for anything sucking. I was in 7th grade, get your mind out of the gutter.
The interesting part is how I ended up kissing a girl in a closet. And, as I think back, this...
Happy Merry India
I’m somewhat of an Indian food snob. I’ve traveled to Malaysia many times. Malaysia is a melting pot of cultures and has many Indians. Not we-gave-you-blankets-with-small-pox Indians, but well…you know..Eastern Indians. Anyways, Malaysia has amazing Indian food. So I was spoiled.
Every week or so, I’ll try a local Indian place in some hopeless-romantic notion that perhaps...
Benefits of Dating Women 65 and Over
1) Senior citizen discounts
2) Can use the social security money to travel often
3) Less teeth = better oral
4) Next to them, I look downright childlike
5) They always keep me warm as I’m constantly reminded to wear a sweater
6) Always have access to a candy jar. Even if it was intended for the grandchildren.
7) Gain access to one of those moving beds
8) Lots of alone time as their...
June 2010
1 post
May 2010
3 posts
What I've Been Reading Lately
I love reading as much as everyone. But, since I have two kids with ages in the single digits, I don’t get to read as much as I’d like.
For this reason, I try to research and get recommendations before I pick up any books. Most of the time this works out very well. But, sometimes I just don’t resonate with the material.
Now, it’s hard for me to do…but I will STOP...
1 tag
Overheard In My House Last Night...
Mother: So, what's Jill up to these days?
Wife: She's slutting it up.
Mother: Oh, is she a dentist?
Me: Huh!?
1 tag
Follow Me. Or Don't.
So these days it seems you’ve got to be everywhere. You’ve gotta be on Facebook. You’ve gotta be on twitter (whether you understand what RT, @, and #’s mean or not), and you’ve gotta have a blog. It’s helpful if you have a YouTube profile, and if you’re a member of Digg. And, of course you’re going to want to share your photos on Flickr. And...
December 2009
1 post
“A friend of mine told me that when his sons were five and three years old, they...”
– Gretchen Rubin, in The Happiness Project, a great book on how to live you life with more happiness in it (via fred-wilson)